i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
