Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
