I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
