I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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