those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
