I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
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