Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
