Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
