This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
