Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
