you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
