we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I booty called her while she was in labor.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
