Kiss
Puke
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
