The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
