I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
