all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
