I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
