I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
