Your tits are I can't wait for
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
