Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
