if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
