We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
