Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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