puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
