Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
