I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
