walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
