if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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