She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
