i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
