No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize