That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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