When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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