dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
