ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
