i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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