I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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