I hate your face
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
