White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
a search helicopter?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
