nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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