Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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