I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
