Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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