i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
