omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
