your room smells of hookers.
And success
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
