my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
