don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
