That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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