So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
