yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
