See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
