so explain again why im purple
no
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
