I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Come on in and take your pants off
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