The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
