just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
