Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
