Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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