i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you win again, gameday.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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