I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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