Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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