I didn't shave. On purpose
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
