some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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