i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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