you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
